Calling it quits when you’re sick and tired of unhealthy relationships seems to be a quite reasonable thing to do. However, if your marriage wasn’t disgusting and you haven’t experienced being abused or neglected, why not reconcile with your partner? Maybe, your case is one of those where people can bring back their relationships and make them even better, so why wouldn’t you give them a try? Below, you can find out what a reconciliation divorce is and how you can achieve it.
What is Reconciliation?
To put it simply, reconciliation is a process of a couple reuniting after their marriage was dissolved.
It can happen for many reasons and every couple who decides to get back together is unique. Some do that because they were too quick to ask how to file for divorce in California by yourself and started the process after a fight. Some understood that they loved each other more and were ready to resolve the problem that led to a divorce to reconcile. Others divorced due to their hurt pride feelings and later came to see that the united family was more important to them, etc.
What Should You Keep in Mind Before Reconciling with Your Partner?
Once you start thinking about the possibility of restoring your marriage after a divorce, you have to answer the following questions yourself:
- Have you coped with the trauma caused by your divorce?
- Do you understand what was the key factor causing you to split up?
- Are you sure that you won’t repeat the same behavioral patterns if you try it all over again?
- Does your ex want to be together as much as you do?
- Are you able to trust them again?
- What is the goal of getting back together?
- What triggers you to remarry them again? Is it true love or you’re just missing the status of a married individual?
- Are you going to tell your friends and family that you’re dating or living together again?
- What do your kids think about it?
Thinking these things through is needed to figure out whether the reconciliation is a good idea for both of you and if you are not trying to fill the emptiness after the break-up by getting back to your ex.
10 Ways to Get Back Together After a Marriage Dissolution
- Try being different to not repeat the old mistakes. If only a small time passed since you got divorced, you should remember what your mistakes were. Don’t repeat them. Consider applying a different approach to your partner to make your relationship better now.
- Consider completing a therapy course. Since changing the patterns of your conduct is not easy, you may need help on your way to your relationship improvement. That’s why our tip will be to start visiting a family therapist with your partner. It can be especially beneficial if you have kids who were affected by your divorce and reconciliation.
- Be more open as usual. It’s a must if you want to create a different relationship with the same person. Don’t stay silent once you notice that a new fight is about to be put up. Talk about everything that worries you with your partner so they can understand your feelings and find a way out together.
- Don’t rush. After all, you have a whole time to get to know each other once again, so why would you hurry up? Of course, you are feeling excited about getting back together with an individual you’ve been loving for a long time, but trying to speed up your relationship won’t be effective in the long run.
- Start going on dates. Having a date night or two with your ex-spouse will contribute greatly to the restoration of your bond. Therefore, don’t lose the chance to feel that romantic vibe you always get when you’re preparing for the date with your husband as if you haven’t been married for years: put your best dress on, do make-up, and hairstyle, wear heels, and enjoy yourself.
- Emphasize the best things in each other. This is universal advice that strengthens any relationship. Concentrate on the strong sides of each of you to remember how you lift each other to the next level of trust and self-growth.
- Leave the past insults behind. To have a quality relationship after a divorce, be ready to forget things that hurt you. Don’t communicate with your partner with them in mind because they’ll hold you back from real reconciliation. Accept the past as it’s already gone, don’t let it spoil your present, and affect your future.
- Start a new hobby together. To have a happy relationship after reconciliation, start creating new memories together. Maybe, traveling to exotic countries isn’t the thing you’re financially ready for, but starting a common hobby is affordable for anyone. Start working out together, running the bikes, learning a new language, etc. Any activity is great to keep you united and help you grow together.
- Involve your kids in your pastime. If you have kids in your marriage, consider engaging them in your daily activities to letting them feel loved and important to you. It will help them get used to their parents’ reunion and improve their mental health. Also, it will contribute to rebuilding trust between them and you.
- Have sex when you feel it as an expression of your love. Don’t bring intimacy back too early: it will cause an increase of oxytocin in your blood, yet it won’t affect your bond positively in the long run. Don’t use sex as a quick way to improve your mood. Instead, look at it as a way to express new feelings for the same person, and it will strengthen your couple much more.
As you can see, reconciliation after a divorce is possible. All you need to do is to put effort into repairing your bond with your partner and be consistent. Be sure to follow the tips above and see how your love unfolds.